Miami

I am waiting in the Terminal right now in Miami heading back to the New York area. I have been down here in Miami for about 2 weeks and have had a blast. As most of you noticed, I was not online and there is a reason for that. I wanted to relax, spend time with friends I don't get to see and just get my shit together.I checked my blog e-mail for the first time on Friday and did not respond for a few reasons. I've just realized a lot about guys out there. The internet is a wonderful thing. It's helped me sort through a lot of stuff in my head and share my experiences as a gay athlete with people who never would get to experience it. I've also been able to connect with athletes across the US and ramble on about what is going on with me.

Miami was a lot of fun. It's kind of a gamble talking about the trip. But it was a lot of fun. Went out clubbing and to bars with the boys while I was down here, which was really nice. I went out with one buddy, who signed a pretty good major league deal. He lives in South Beach, has a great place and has the money to spend when we go out. He's single and loves to go out, meet women and have fun.

He kept wanting to hook me up with his girls that he knew. I would obviously talk with them, smile, flirt and made out with a few. All the while my mind went back to Joe out in California. I was all kinds of fucked up. I kept thinking of Joe and wanted to talk to him, so one night, while sitting on the patio overlooking the beach I went and called him and he picked up.

I shouldn't have called him but it made me feel good to talk to him. Even though he is a long way away, I still like him and I shouldn't.

I got to get on the plane. More when I get back to my parents.